Aftermath
by madeinfrance
Summary: She was done chasing for now. Post-5x24, two parts.


Kensi was tired. So, so tired.

Since her little trip in Afghanistan just a few months back, this mission was the hardest they'd had to face, in every way. Cocaine, dealers, that was easy. The beat up, the shootings, the worry over Sam and Callen disappearing in the ocean for two whole excruciating days...she didn't enjoy it as much. And of course, things weren't exactly made easier by the fact that someone up there had decided to make it all go against her personally as well.

With time, all the nightmares about her abduction were starting to disappear. There would still be nights though – many nights - where she would woke up sweating and shaking, and others where she couldn't even go to sleep if the fricking light wasn't on.

Hetty had sent her to Afghanistan. Hetty made her face her ex fiancé, one of the persons that probably hurt her the most, without even warning her. Hetty had sent her to hell, and Kensi was okay with that. It was something that had to be done: she was Jack's only chance, and if she had to, she would do it again.

What she couldn't take right now, was her boss acting like it was all her fault. She didn't know what "it" meant, but it definitely was about what happened over there, and for Hetty to make her bags and head to Washington, it had to be bad. And based on her last words to her, Kensi felt like she was blaming it on her.

With all that going on, agent Talia couldn't come at a better time. After all, that was all Kensi needed to make the situation even better : a big mouth hitting on her partner, making sure to blur out the first smartass remark that came to her mind. It was not the hitting on thing that bothered her...well, not _just_ that. It was everything, from her smiling face to her stubborn attitude. All of it. Thirty-six hours of her was enough.

Specially when having her around was just a painful reminder of her undefined relationship with a particular someone. A relationship that she oh so needed to be defined.

So yeah, Kensi was tired. So, so very tired_._

And when everything was finally over, she didn't even have the heart to go for a drink to celebrate. Not that she was the only one; after predictably refusing any hospital treat, Sam and Callen headed to their respective homes as fast as they could, claiming that a hot shower (_'and maybe a Clippers game on tv'_) was all they needed to get better. Hetty disappeared. Granger was nowhere to be found, either. Nell was running all around the mention, and left without a word to anybody, face visibly anxious. Eric followed close behind. Deeks...

Well, it seemed that even after three days like this, Talia still wanted to take him out for a margarita or something. Kensi kept packing her bag, acting like she wasn't aware of it when she felt Deeks' stare on her as the DEA agent popped the question.

He mumbled something about being whacked and wanting to crush down, but the lady wasn't letting it go that easily. He tried the Monty card, but she turned it to her advantage, claiming that she could go with him see the dog before they head out, and get a look at his apartment. Apparently, nothing could break this woman's determination. So, eventually, he caved.

Kensi met his gaze when she heard him say her name.

"You coming, Kens?"

For just a second, they stared at each other.

She'd gone a little crazy when she met Talia. Not as crazy as with Monica, no, but she was pretty sure that arranging her look in the boat shed bathroom in the middle of a case just to compete with batting eyelashes girl was something she wouldn't usually do. It really wasn't like her. Except when it came to Deeks, apparently.

Not that it was that big of a surprise, since she had acted like that before, but she just thought that after the year they had – that moment on the hill, the way they both helped each other get through torture and Afghanistan, that night at his apartment, _everything..._ After all that, she just didn't imagine she would have to go through that again. To make a fool out of herself again.

Yes, she had believed that they had things figured out, that he was her boyfriend and she was his girlfriend and that everything would stop be that damn complicated.

Obviously, she wasn't quite right about that.

Then again, she also thought that he was into this as much as she was, and well, at this point, some days she wasn't so sure about that anymore.

And right now, with all the weariness of the last two sleepless nights, and the realization that maybe she was something close to in love with that blond detective and that that woman wouldn't stop throwing herself at him without him making anything to stop it, Kensi just had enough.

Maybe a good night of rest will put her back on her feet again, maybe not.

He knew where she stood; he knew how she felt. If he wanted to have anything to do with it, he knew where to find her. She was done chasing for now.

So, without speaking a word more than necessary to get out of here looking okay, Kensi broke eye contact with Deeks quickly, grabbed her bag and keys, and put a smile on her face.

"No, I'm good. Well actually I'm not good, I need my shower and my bed, so I'm gonna head home", she said, pointing to the entrance with her thumb as she headed towards it. "It was nice working with you, Talia. You guys have fun."

_You guys do whatever you wanna do._

And with one last nod to the brunette, and one more look at Deeks, whose expression she couldn't read, she was gone.


End file.
